only if we run a train.
done.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
