put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
