This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
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I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
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I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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