Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize