Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
