I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
A+ Viking dick
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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