I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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