Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
