And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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