True but thats because hes a fetus.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
There are leaves in my underwear?
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