Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
