if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My vagina is officially offended.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
