I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
well you can't waste a boner
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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