you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
