why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
