so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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