lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
