not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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