so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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