I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
