do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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