i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
ok first of all what the fuck
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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