Joe is yelling at the trees again.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
