his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize