if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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