i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
