my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
