I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
