I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Randomize