p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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