I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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