We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
