I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I love you. Go after that dick
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
