whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
