Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
