Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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