dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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