Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
