PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You're a waste of cheezeits
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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