at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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