i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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