Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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