I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
