i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
