I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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