Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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