I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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