Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize