It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
