I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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