didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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