How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
