It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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