I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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