Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
