I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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