he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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