the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
