Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
