I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
