O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
